Rape Culture

Rape culture is I shouldn't defend my friend when an overaggressive frat boy has his hand on her ass,because standing up for her body “makes me a target.”Women are afraid to speak up, because they fear their own lives - but I’d rather take the hit than live in a culture of silence.I am told that I will always be the victim, pre-determined by the DNA in my weaker, softer body.I have birthing hips, not a fighter’s stance.I am genetically pre-dis-positioned to lose every time.
Rape culture is he was probably abused as a child.When he even has some form of a justification and all I have are the things that provoked him,and the scars from his touch are woven of the darkest and toughest strings, underneath the layer of my skin.Rape culture leaves me finding pieces of him left inside of me.A bone of his elbow. The cap of his knee.There is something so daunting in the way that I know it will take me years to methodically extract him from my body.And that twinge I will get sometimes in my arm fifteen years later?Proof of the past.Like a tattoo I didn't ask for.Somehow I am permanently inked.
Rape culture is you can’t wear that outfit anymore without feeling dirty, without feeling like you somehow earned it.You will feel like you are walking on knives,every time you wear the shoes you smashed his nose in with.Imaginary blood on the bottom of your heels,thinking, maybe this will heal me.Those shoes are your freedom,But the remains of a life long fight.You will always carry your heart,your passion, your absolute will to live,but also the shame and the guilt and the pain.I saved myself but I still feel like I’m walking on knives.
Rape culture is telling your daughters not to get raped,instead of teaching your sons how to treat all women.That sex is not a right. You are not entitled to this.The worst possible thing you can call a woman is a slut, a whore, a bitch.The worst possible thing you can call a man is a bitch, a pussy, a girl.The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl.The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl.Being a woman is the ultimate rejection,the ultimate dismissal of strength and power, the absolute insult.When I have a daughter,I will tell her that she is not an insult.When I have a daughter, she will know how to fight.I will look at her like the sun when she comes home with anger in her fists.Because we are human beings and we do not always have to take what we are given.They all tell her not to fight fire with fire,but that is only because they are afraid of her flames.I will teach her the value of the word “no” so that when she hears it, she will not question it.My daughter,Don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love you have for yourself and the lengths you go to preserve it.
My daughter,I am alive because of the fierce love I have for myself, and because my father taught me to protect that.He taught me that sometimes, I have to do my own bit of saving, pick myself off the ground and wipe the dirt off my face,because at the end of the day,there is only me.I am alive because my father taught me to love myself.He taught me that I am an enigma - a mystery, a paradox, an unfinished masterpiece and I must love myself enough to see how I turn out.I am alive because even beaten, voiceless, and back against the wall, I knew there was an ounce of me worth fighting for.And for that, I thank my father.
Instead of teaching my daughter to cover herself up,I will show her how to be exposed.Because no is not “convince me”.No is not “I want it”. You call me,“Little lady, pretty girl, beautiful woman.”But I am not any of these things for you.I am exploding light,my daughter will be exploding light, and you,better cover your eyes.